####

SEJAK kebelakangan ini, pelbagai isu berkaitan perkahwinan dipaparkan media hingga mengundang polemik dan perdebatan masyarakat. Masalah rumah tangga antara pasangan suami isteri seandainya tidak dileraikan secara baik dan berhemah menyebabkan berlakunya tuduh menuduh, cabar mencabar hingga akhirnya mahkamah menjadi medan terakhir menyelesaikan kekusutan itu.

Islam sebagai agama syumul menekankan kesejahteraan hidup umatnya, menitikberatkan persoalan rumah tangga menjadi jambatan mengukuh ukhuwah dan jalinan kasih sayang antara suami isteri.

Pentingnya tuntutan perkahwinan sebagai jalan meleraikan tuntutan hawa nafsu serta fitrah semula jadi manusia dinyatakan dalam sabda Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud:

“Wahai kaum pemuda, barang siapa antara kamu yang mampu berkahwin, maka berkahwinlah. Tetapi, jika ada antara kamu yang tidak mampu, maka hendaklah kamu berpuasa. Sesungguhnya, puasa itu menahan keinginan syahwat.”
Persoalannya hari ini, ramai pasangan yang menempuh gerbang perkahwinan gagal melayarkan bahtera kehidupan bersama tatkala berhadapan kemelut dan gelombang masalah berpunca daripada kejahilan ilmu serta terlalu dikongkong oleh emosi serta perasaan.

Akibatnya, titik perceraian menjadi jalan pemisah meleraikan hubungan cinta dan kasih sayang lama terjalin. Rasulullah SAW menggariskan panduan dan etika khususnya ketika mula-mula memilih jodoh supaya perkahwinan ditempuhi kekal hingga akhir hayat selain mendapat keberkatan Allah.

Sabda Baginda SAW yang bermaksud:

“Berkahwin seseorang lelaki itu terhadap perempuan yang dinikahinya adalah kerana empat perkara: iaitu kerana harta benda, status keturunan, kecantikan paras ruap serta ketaatan kepada agama. Maka, pilihlah perempuan yang beragama nescaya akan berbahagialah hidupmu.” (Hadis riwayat Abu Hurairah)

Dalam kehidupan masyarakat moden hari ini yang meletakkan nilai material atau kebendaan sebagai perkara utama dalam memilih pasangan, soal budi bahasa serta wadah agama tidak lagi menjadi perkara pokok seperti disarankan Baginda Rasulullah SAW.

Wanita salihah serta memiliki ketaatan kepada perintah agama, bukan lagi menjadi ukuran ketika memilih jodoh. Sebaliknya, soal pangkat dan kerjaya, selain cinta dan paras rupa mengambil tempat pertama dalam ukuran mencari pasangan hidup.

Kajian dijalankan badan bukan kerajaan (NGO) berkaitan aspek pemilihan jodoh baru-baru ini mendapati kebanyakan lelaki mengutamakan rupa paras pasangan ingin dinikahi, sementara bagi wanita pula lebih sukakan pasangan hidup mempunyai kerjaya stabil serta kewangan kukuh.

Islam bukan menolak bulat-bulat tuntutan naluri semula jadi manusia memerlukan harta benda, pangkat dan kerjaya, kecantikan dan keelokan rupa pasangan tetapi jangan terlalu menekankan aspek keduniaan hingga meminggirkan amalan agama sebagai bekalan akhirat.

Bagi mereka yang sedang mencari pasangan hidup yang sesuai atau baru saja melabuhkan diri di alam berumahtangga antara aspek wajar diberi perhatian adalah memahami peranan dan tanggungjawab suami isteri.

Selain itu, pasangan wajar menjaga keaiban masing-masing supaya tidak menjadi bahan bualan di luar rumah. Sikap toleransi atau bersedia mengalah seharusnya perlu ada pada setiap pasangan supaya tidak timbul perasaan ego dan sombong dalam diri masing-masing.

Dalam soal berumahtangga, model yang sepatutnya dijadikan ikutan adalah Rasulullah SAW. Baginda sentiasa mengasihi isterinya tidak pernah bermasam muka, memberi layanan baik serta mengungkapkan kata bersopan dan berhemah.

Diriwayatkan Saidatina Aisyah:

“Satu malam beliau terlelap ketika sedang menunggu Rasulullah SAW pulang dari masjid. Apabila tersedar pada tengah malam, beliau mendapati Rasulullah belum pulang. Sebaik saja beliau membuka pintu, didapatinya Rasulullah tidur di depan muka pintu. Saidatina Aisyah mengejutkan Baginda lalu bertanya mengapa Rasulullah tidur di luar rumah. Baginda meminta maaf kepada Aisyah kerana terlewat pulang dan tidak sampai hati mengejutkan Aisyah yang tidur di dalam rumah.”
Begitulah beradabnya layanan Rasulullah SAW terhadap isterinya dalam menjaga hubungan perkahwinan. Kasih sayang dan perasaan cinta bersandarkan sunnah akan menjadikan jalinan hubungan suami isteri kian hebat dan kukuh malah dapat melahirkan zuriat yang soleh yang berkualiti.

♥Niesa' imana♥




Till then,
Luv, xoxo ;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

by Maktabatul Uthaymeen on August 13, 2011

Khutbah from Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin Al-Qasim, Imaam of Masjid An-Nabawee

Whoever comes from a kind and compassionate background will have a tender heart and so such men must bear in mind that their wife is the one who gave birth to his children, takes care of his wealth and maintains his secrets. So be kind to your wives and openly express your joy for smiling livens the heart and wipes away hatred and praising the wife for her appearance, cooking and adornment wins her heart.them.

Exchanging gifts is the key to winning a heart and is a reflection of ones love.

Being easy upon ones wife, abandoning ambiguity and bad communication and arrogance are ways to achieve a lasting happy marital life. ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “A man should be like a child with his wife, happy and easy going, but when he sits with men, he should act as they do.”

Be an upright and straightforward man and your wife will thereby also improve and become more righteous, by the will of Allaah;

do not look at that which is unlawful for you to do so, because the evil consequences of this sin will impact upon your house; Watching women on satellite television causes ones wife to appear ugly and unpleasant, and lowers ones rank in her sight, which is a reason why hearts become distant and love diminishes, which in turn causes conflicts to emerge.

Deal with your wife as you would like her to deal with you in all areas, because it is natural that she would like you to be with her as you would like her to be with you, Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I like to take care of my appearance for my wife just as I would like her to beautify herself for me.”

Listen to your wife’s criticism with an open mind and heart because the wives of the Prophetsallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, would to discuss his opinions without him becoming angry.

Also a husband should not take from his wife’s wealth without her permission, because it belongs to her;
treat her kindly and be generous with her and do not be stingy; remember that your wife likes to talk to you regarding all her affairs, so be attentive and listen to her, indeed this is a reflection of perfect manners;

never go home with a gloomy face because your children need to clearly see your love and sympathy; be kind to your children and make them enjoy your presence, guidance and instructions and always listen to them. Whenever the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallamwould see Faatimah, may Allaah be pleased with her, he would say “Welcome, O my daughter!” then he would seat her to his right or left. (Muslim).

Being kind to the members of ones household reflects real manhood, as Al-Baraa’, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I entered upon Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, in his house; he saw his daughter ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, lying down with a fever, so Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with him, kissed her on the cheek and asked: ‘How are you feeling my daughter?’ (Bukhaari).

Helping at home is a sign of ones faithfulness; ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked what the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would do while at home, she replied, ‘He was just like any other human being, he would sew his garment, milk the sheep and serve himself.’ (Ahmad).

Being generous with ones family is the best charity that one can give and time spent with ones friends should not be at the expense of that with ones family, for they are worthier to spend ones time with.

Never remind your wife with mistakes that she may have made, nor hint about her shortcomings;

conceal your problems from the children because it has a negative affect on them and reduces the respect they have towards their parents.

Anger is the cause of all disputes, and the relation between a man and his wife is far too valuable to ruin in a moment of anger; remain silent whenever you become upset and remember that forgiveness is closer to piety and wisdom, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “Women should be kept at home and their anger dealt with by remaining quiet.”

The rights of the wife are great and only a noble man will fully honour his wife and respect her. ‘Aa’ishah may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would always mention Khadeejah, and he would always slaughter sheep, divide them, and then distribute it among her friends, He did this so much that I once said to him: ‘You act as though there are no other women apart from Khadeejah’” (al-Bukhaari).

Kalau tak suka, pulangkan...

KALAU TAK SUKA, PULANGKAN

Kereta dihentikan betul-betul di hadapan rumah. Pintu pagar automatiknya terbuka. Perlahan kereta dihalakan ke dalam garaj.

“Horey! Papa balik!” Kelihatan anak-anaknya berlari mengiringi keretanya.
“Tepi! Bahaya tau tak?” Jeritnya.
Anak-anak termanggu. Cahaya kegembiraan di wajah mereka pudar.
“Aimin bawa adik ke belakang.” Arahnya pada anak yang sulong.

Pulangnya petang itu disambut dingin oleh anak-anak. Isterinya turut terdiam bila mendengar anak-anak mengadu tentang papa mereka.

“Papa penat. Aimin bawa adik mandi dulu. Mama siapkan minum petang. Lepas minum papa mesti nak main bola dengan kita,” pujuk Laila.
Dia yang mendengar di ruang tamu hanya mendengus. Seketika kemudian terdengar hilai tawa anak-anaknya di bilik mandi. Dia bangun.

“Hah! Main air. Bil bulan ini papa kena bayar dekat seratus. Cepat! Tutup paip tu! Buka shower!” Sergahnya. Suara yang bergema mematikan tawa anak-anaknya.

“Asal saya balik rumah mesti bersepah. Kain baju berselerak. Apa awak makan tidur aje ke duduk rumah?” sambungnya kembali bila isterinya terpacul di belakang pintu.

“Anak-anak pa. Diorang yang main tu. Takpe nanti mama kemas. Papa minum ye. Mama dah siapkan kat taman.” Balas isterinya lembut.
“Fail saya kat depan tu mana?”
“Mama letak dalam bilik. Takut budak-budak alihkan.”
“Boleh tak awak jangan usik barang-barang saya? Susah tau tak? Fail tu patutnya saya bawa meeting tengahari tadi.” Rungutnya sekalipun di hati kecil mengakui kebenaran kata-kata isterinya itu.
Suasana sepi kembali. Dia menarik nafas berat. Terasa begitu jauh berbeza. Dia tercari-cari riuh suara anak-anak dan wajah isterinya. “Laila” Keluhnya Akhirnya dia terlena di sofa.

—————————————————————————-

“Saya nak ke out station minggu depan.”
“Lama?” Soal Laila.
“Dalam seminggu.”
“Cuti sekolah pun lama. Mama ikut boleh?”
“Budak-budak? “
“Ikut jugalah.”
“Dah! Takde! Takde! Susah nanti. Macam-macam diorang buat kat sana . Tengok masa kat Legacy dulu tu..”
“Masa tu Amirul kecik lagi.” Balas Laila.

Wajahnya sayu. Dia masih berusaha memujuk biarpun dia tahu suaminya tak mungkin berganjak dari keputusan yang dibuat. Tak mungkin peristiwa Amirul terpecahkan pinggan di hotel dulu berulang. Anak itu masih kecil benar sewaktu ia berlaku. Lagipun apa sangatlah harganya pinggan itu malahan pihak hotel pun tak minta ganti rugi.

” Bolehlah Pa ! Lama sangat kita tak ke mana-mana.”
“Nak jalan sangat Sabtu ni saya hantar awak balik kampung,” Muktamad!

Demikianlah seperti kata-katanya. Anak-anak dan isterinya dihantar ke kampung. Laila tak merungut apa-apa meskipun dia tahu isterinya berkecil hati. Anak-anak terlompat riang sebaik kereta berhenti di pengkarangan rumah nenek mereka. Tak sampai setengah jam dia telah bergegas semula untuk pulang. Bapa mertuanya membekalkan sebuah kitab lama.

“Cuba-cubalah baca. Kitab tu pun abah ambil dari masjid. Dari mereka bakar abah ambik bagi kamu!”
“Manalah saya ada masa..”
“Takpe..pegang dulu. Kalau tak suka pulangkan balik!” Dia tersentak dari khayalannya.
“Kalau tak suka pulangkan balik!” Kata-kata itu bergema di fikirannya. Dia rasa tersindir.
Tahukah bapa mertuanya masalah yang melanda rumahtangganya itu? Bukan..bukan tak suka malah dia tetap sayang sekalipun Laila bukan pilihannya. Dunia akhirat Laila adalah isterinya. Cuma..
“Mizi, makan!” Panggil ibunya yang datang menemaninya sejak seminggu lalu. “Jangan ikutkan hati. Yang sudah tu sudahlah.”

———————————————————————————-

“Papa! Makan!” Jerit Aiman ,anak keduanya sambil tersengih-sengih mendapatkan dirinya.
“Tak boleh panggil papa elok-elok. Ingat papa ni pekak ke?”
Aiman menggaru kepalanya yang tak gatal. Pelik! Kenapa papanya tiba-tiba saja marah. Dia berpatah semula ke dapur.
“Awak masak apa?”
“Mama masak sup tulang dengan sambal udang!” jawab Amirul memotong sebelum sempat mamanya membuka mulut.
“Takde benda lain ke awak boleh masak? Dah saya tak nak makan. Hilang selera!”
“Papa nak ke mana?” Soal isterinya perlahan.
“Keluar!”
“Mama dah masak Pa!”
“Awak saja makan!”
“Takpe Aiman boleh habiskan. Cepatlah ma!”
Laila tahu Aiman hanya memujuk. Anak keduanya itu sudah pandai mengambil hatinya. Aimin tersandar di kerusi makan. Sekadar memerhati langkah papanya keluar dari ruang makan.
“Kenapa sekarang ni papa selalu marah-marah ma?” Soal Aimin sambil menarik pinggannya yang telah berisi nasi.
“Papa banyak kerja agaknya. Dah! Makan.”
“Abang tak suka tengok papa marah-marah. .”
“Adik pun sama. Bila papa marah muka dia macam gorilla kan ?”
Kata-kata Aiman disambut tawa oleh abang-abangnya yang lain. Laila menjeling. Di hati kecilnya turut terguris.Besar sangatkah dosanya hingga menjamah nasi pun tidak. Kalau ada pun salahnya, apa?

Syamizi menjengah ke ruang dapur. Kosong.
“Laila..” serunya
“Sudahlah tu Mizi! Jangan diingat-ingat. Kerja Tuhan ni tak dapat kita tolak-tolak. Bawak-bawaklah beristighfar. Kalau terus macam ni sakit kau nanti.” Kata ibunya yang muncul tiba-tiba.
“Sunyi pulak rumah ni mak,”
“Lama-lama kau biasalah.”
Airmatanya menitis laju. “Kalau tak suka pulangkan!” Dia rasa terhukum. Hampir segenap saat kata-kata itu bergema di sekitarnya. Dia rasa terluka. Kehilangan yang amat sangat.

———————————————————————————-

“Papa beli apa untuk Aiman?” Soal Aiman sebaik dia pulang dari outstationnya.
“Beli apa pulak? Barang permainan kan bersepah dalam bilik belakang tu.”
“Tak ada lah?”
“Ingat papa ni cop duit?”

Aiman termangu. Dia berlalu mencari mamanya di dapur. Seketika kemudian rumah kembali riuh dengan telatah anak-anak lelakinya yang bertiga itu mengiringi mama mereka yang sedang menatang dulang berisi hidangan minum petang.
Wajah Laila direnungnya. Ada kelainan pada raut itu. Riaknya tenang tapi ada sesuatu yang sukar ditafsirkannya.
“Awak tak sihat ke?”
Laila tersenyum. Tangannya pantas menuang air ke cawan.
“Papa, tak lama lagi abang dapat adik lagi.” Aimin mencelah di antara perbualan kedua ibu bapanya.
Shamizi tersenyum. Jemari isterinya digenggam erat. Tiba-tiba cawan berisi kopi yang masih panas terjatuh dan pecah di lantai. Aiman tercegat.

“Tengok! Ada saja yang kamu buat. Cuba duduk baik-baik. Kalau air tu tak tumpah tak sah!” Tempiknya membuatkan anak itu tertunduk ketakutan. Baju mamanya dipegang kejap.

Lengan Aiman dipegangnya kuat hingga anak kecil itu mula menangis. Pantas saja akhbar di tangannya hinggap ke kepala anaknya itu. Laila cuba menghalang tapi dia pantas dulu menolak isterinya ke tepi. Aiman di pukul lagi. Amirul menangis. Aimin mendapatkan mamanya.

“Perangai macam beruk! Tak pernah buat orang senang!”
Laila bangun dari jatuhnya dan menarik lembut Aiman ke dalam pelukkannya. Airmata mereka bersatu. Pilu sungguh hatinya melihat kekasaran suaminya terhadap anak-anak.

“Cukuplah pa. Papa dah hukum pun dia tapi janganlah sebut yang bukan-bukan. ” Ujar Laila perlahan
“Macamana awak didik budak-budak sampai macam ni teruk perangainya? Tengok anak orang lain ada macam ni? Anak kak Long tu tak pulak macam ni. Panjat sana , kecah barang. Gila apa?” Omelnya kembali.

Shamizi meraut wajah. Bukan kepalang salahnya pada Aiman. Padanya anak itu tak pernah dapat memuaskan hatinya. Ada saja salah Aiman di matanya. Ada saja yang kurang di hatinya terhadap anak-anak dan isteri. Tak cukup dengan perbuatan malah dia begitu mudah melemparkan kata-kata yang bukan-bukan terhadap mereka.

———————————————————————————–

“Tak boleh ke kamu semua senyap? Dalam sehari ni boleh tak diam? Rimas betul duduk dalam rumah ni.”
Laila menyuruh anak-anaknya bermain di halaman belakang rumah. Memberi sedikit ruang buat suaminya menonton dengan tenang.

Malangnya tak lama kemudian kedengaran bunyi tingkap kaca pecah.
“Celaka betul!” Sumpahnya sambil menghempaskan akhbar ke meja.
“Abang!”
“Baik awak tengok anak-anak awak tu sebelum saya hambat dengan rotan! Perangai satu-satu macam tak siuman!” Getusnya kasar.

Akhirnya tingkap yang pecah kembali diganti. Cerita sumpah seranahnya petang itu hilang begitu saja. Laila berubah. Sikapnya yang pendiam menjadi semakin pendiam. Anak-anak juga sedikit menjauh. Tak ada lagi cerita Amirul di tadika. Tak ada lagi kisah Aimin yang cemerlang di dalam sukan sekolahnya. Aiman juga tak lagi mahu memanggilnya makan.

Shamizi terasa puas hati. Barangkali itu saja caranya untuk memberi sedikit pengajaran pada anak-anak.

“Pak Ngah, Eddie nak balik!” Shamizi terpana. Dia mengangguk.
“Kak Long balik dulu Mizi. Sudahlah! Kamu muda lagi. Cari pengganti.”
Alangkah mudahnya. Kalaulah dia boleh bertemu lagi yang serupa seperti Laila. Laila tak ada yang kurang Cuma dia yang tak pernah puas hati. Laila tak pernah merungut. Laila tak pernah membantah. Sepanjang usia perkahwinan mereka Laila tak pernah meminta lebih dari apa yang dia beri. Laila cuma dapat gred B walaupun dia teramat layak untuk mendapat gred yang lebih baik dari A.
“Laila”

—————————————————————————————————-

“Papa nak ke mana hensem-hensem gini?” Dia tersenyum sambil menjeling ke cermin meninjau bayang isterinya yang kian sarat. “Wangi-wangi lagi. Dating ye?”
“Saya ada makan malam di rumah bos besar. Dia buat makan-makan untuk staff.” Ujarnya masih leka membetulkan kolar kemeja batiknya.
“Ikut boleh?”
“Dia tak ajak family. Staff only!” Terangnya sedangkan difikirannya terfikir lain. Kali ni dia akan pergi ke jamuan tu dengan Helmi. Helmi akan turut menumpangkan Maria dan Harlina. Staff yang masih muda dan bujang.
“Dalam setahun papa selalu ke jamuan office tapi tak pernah pun bawak kami.”
“Leceh kalau ada budak-budak. Bukan tau duduk diam Lari sana sini, panjat itu ini. “
“Papa pesanlah..”
“Nantilah besar sikit.” Dalihnya.
“Kalau tunggu besar takut takde peluang. Nanti diorang tu dah tak nak ikut pergi mana pun.”
“Lagi senang. Saya kalau lasak-lasak ni buat hati panas je,”
Laila terdiam. “Namanya budak-budak. Anak-anak papa tu lelaki.”
“Saya pergi kejap je. Lepas tu terus balik.”
“Mama tanya sikit boleh?” Dia mengangguk
“Bos tak pelawa atau papa malu nak bawa mama dan anak-anak?”

Mereka dia tinggalkan di rumah. Di jamuan tu ramai staff yang membawa keluarga mereka bersama. Pada Shamizi dia mahukan keselesaan sedangkan hakikatnya anak-anak staff yang lain lebih lasak dan nakal. Semeja hidangan untuk anak-anak staff berderai bila ada yang bermain tarik-tarik alas kainnya.

“Never mind. Budak-budak memang macam tu. Kalau tak lasak tak cerdik,” ujar Mr. Kwai, tuan rumah.
Shamizi sedikit mengakui kebenaran kata-kata itu. Anak-anaknya pun nakal tapi amat membanggakan dalam pelajaran. Namun dia rasa serba tak kena bila bersama mereka. Bimbang ada yang menyata yang bukan-bukan tentang anak-anaknya yang lasak apatah lagi tentang isterinya Laila. Bimbang dimalukan dengan perangai anak-anaknya. Bimbang jika dikatakan Laila tidak sepadan dengan dirinya. Dia lulusan luar negara sedang Laila cuma perempuan kampung. Tak pandai bergaya seperti staff wanita yang lain. Betullah jangkaan Laila, dia malu untuk memperkenalkan isteri dan anak-anaknya pada rakan-rakan.

“Kalau tak suka pulangkan!” Kata-kata itu semakin keras di fikirannya.
Pagi itu anak-anak sekali lagi dimaki sebelum ke sekolah. Semata-mata bila Aimin dan Aiman bergelut berebutkan tempat duduk di meja makan menyebabkan air cuci tangan tumpah ke meja. Berangnya tiba-tiba menguasai diri. Kepala kedua-duanya di lagakan sedangkan perebutan itu tidak pula disusuli dengan perkelahian.

“Kamu semua ni..kalau macam ni daripada ada elok tak ada. Menyusahkan! ” Laila merenungnya dalam..
Matanya berkaca dan anak-anak ke sekolah tanpa menyalaminya seperti selalu. Laila juga tidak berkata apa-apa sebelum menghidupkan enjin untuk menghantar anak-anak ke sekolah. Shamizi dapat melihat Laila mengesat airmatanya. Dia terus menghadapi sarapannya. Sejenak dia terpandang hidangan untuk anak-anak yang tak bersentuh. Susu masih penuh di cawan. Roti telur yang menjadi kesukaan anak-anak juga tidak dijamah. Bekal di dalam bekas tidak diambil.Pelik! Selama ini Laila tak pernah lupa..

“Kalau tak suka pulangkan,”
Kali ini dia benar-benar menangis. Laila dan anak-anak terus tak pulang selepas pagi itu. Hari-harinya tak lagi diganggu dengan gelagat anak-anak. Rumah terus sunyi dan sepi. Tetap dia tak dapat tidur dengan lena. Di halaman belakang hanya ada kenangan. Kelibat anak-anaknya bergumpal dan berlari mengejar bola tak lagi kelihatan. Riuh anak-anak bila mandi di bilik air juga tidak lagi kedengaran. Dia mula dihambat rindu. Hanya ada kesunyian di mana-mana. Hanya tinggal bola yang terselit di rumpun bunga.

Selaut rindu mula menghambat pantai hatinya. Laila.
Benarlah, kita hanya tahu harganya bila kita kehilangannya.
Laila terus tak pulang sekalipun dia berjanji untuk berubah.

Laila pergi membawa anak-anaknya pagi itu bila kereta mereka dirempuh sebuah kereta lain yang dipandu laju. Laila pergi tanpa meninggalkan satu pun untuknya. Laila pergi membawa Aimin, Aiman, Amirul dan zuriat yang bakal dilahirkan dua bulan lagi..
Dia menangis semahu-mahunya bila menatap wajah lesi anak-anak dan isterinya. Dia meraung memeluk tubuh Laila yang berlumuran darah. Hakikatnya Laila adalah kitab lama itu, lapuk bagaimana pun dipandangan harganya tak terbanding, dan kerana keengganannya Laila dipulangkan…….

Positive quotes

Compiled by Rafik Beekun, the Islamicworkplace.com. See other sources at bottom. Updated September 9, 2012. 

Avoiding What is Doubtful:

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “That which is lawful is clear, and that which is unlawful is also quite clear. Between these two is that which is ambiguous, which most people do not know. One who avoids the doubtful safeguards his faith and his honor.”
——— Riyadh-us-Salaheen, Hadith 588.

Business and Trade:

O ye who believe! Do not squander one another’s wealth in vanities, but let there be amongst you traffic and trade by mutual good will.——— The Holy Quran, 4:29.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked what type of earning was best, and he replied: ” A man’s work with his hands and every (lawful) business transaction.”——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 846.

The Prophet also said: “A truthful and trustworthy merchant is associated with the prophets.“
——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 50.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: ““It is better for any of you to carry a load of firewood on his own back than to beg from someone else .”
——— Riyadh-Us-Saleheen, Chapter 59, hadith 540.

And also: “There was a merchant who would lend to the people, and whenever his debtor was in difficult circumstances, he would say to his employees, ‘Forgive him so that God may forgive us.’ So, God forgave him.”
——— Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 292.

Character:

“Make your character good for the people.“
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as narrated Al-Muwatta, Volume 47, Hadith 1

Charity:

“You will not attain righteousness till you spend in charity of the things you love.”
——— The Qur’an, Chapter 3, verse 92.
The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “Do not turn away a poor man…even if all you can give is half a date. If you love the poor and bring them near you…God will bring you near Him on the Day of Resurrection.”
——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1376.

Constancy in Doing Good:

“Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah’s is the most regular and constant even though it were little.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as narrated by A’isha (ra) in Sahih Bukhari, vol. 8, hadith 471

“The actions which the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, loved most were those which were done most constantly.”
——— Narrated by A’isha (ra) in Al-Muwatta, vol 9, number 92b

Courage:

If you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything. 
——— Malcolm X.

Focus on What is Important:

““When we contemplate the duration of the universe, we see it limited to the present moment, which is nothing more but the point which separates two infinities of time. The past and the future are as meaningless as if they did not exist. Is anyone more misguided than the man who barters an eternal future for a moment which passes quicker than the blink of an eye?”.”
——— Ibn Hazm Al Andalousi (994-1064 A.D., Al Akhlaq wa’l Siyar

Forgiveness:

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: ““It is better for a leader to make a mistake in forgiving than to make a mistake in punishing.”
——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1011.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “Whoever is offered an apology from a fellow Muslim should accept it unless he knows that the person apologizing is being dishonest.”
——— Mishkat al Tabrizi, Vol 3, Hadith no. 5052.

Gender Relations:

“And among His signs is this: that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest and peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Certainly, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect.”——— The Qur’an in Ar Rum, Chapter 30, verse 21.
“The most perfect in faith amongst believers is he who is best in manners and kindest to his wife.”——— Muhammad (p) cited in Sunnan Abu Dawud.

Generosity:

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to God than a worshipper who is miserly.”
——— Al-Tirmidhi: Hadith 580.

Good Conduct Toward Others:

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said, “None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”
——— Bukhari and Muslim.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “He will not enter Paradise whose neighbour is not secure from his wrongful conduct.“
——— Sahih Muslim, Hadith 15.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk).“
——— Narrated by Abu Hurayrah, Sahih Al Bukhari, Vol: 8 Hadith 47.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “There is reward for kindness to every living thing.”
——— Bukhari and Muslim.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “God is kind and likes kindness in all things.“
——— Rihadh us-Saleheen, Volume 1:633.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it. Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished.“
——— Imam Bukhari’s Book of Muslim Manners.

“Those who work for you are your brothers. Allah has made them your assistants.”
——— Bukhari and Tirmidhi.

“There are many doors to goodness. (Saying) ‘glory to God,’ ‘praise be to God,’ ‘there is no deity but God,’ enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf (until you understand them), leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one’s legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the weak with the strength of one’s arms – all of these are (forms of) charity prescribed for you.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) in Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98.

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
… Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
… Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
… Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
… Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
… Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
… Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
… Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
… Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”——— Mother Theresa.

“Do not be people without minds of your own, saying that if others treat you well you will treat them well and that if they do wrong you will do wrong. But (instead) accustom yourselves to do good if people do good and not to do wrong if they do evil.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported in Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1325.

Good Manners:

When the allurement of this life comes to a person, he borrows the good manners of others. however, when it goes away from him, it strips his good manners from him.
——— Ali (r) as cited in the Book of Wisdom by Ahmad Sakr.

Gratitude and Thankfulness:

“And if Allah touches you with affliction, none can remove it but He: But if He bestows upon you a favor, remember that He is the Possessor of every power to do all that He wills.”
——— The Holy Quran, Chapter 6, Verse 17.

Honesty and Faith:

“An adulterer will not commit adultery when he has full faith (in Allah), and a thief will not steal when he has full faith (in Allah)..”——— Ibn Majah.

Humility:

“The (true) servants of (God) the Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, reply with (words of) peace.”
——— The Holy Quran, 25:63.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “(God) has revealed to me that you should adopt humility so that no one oppresses another.”
——— Riyadh-us-Salaheen, Hadith 1589.

The Prophet (s) said, “Shall I inform you about the people of Paradise? They comprise every obscure unimportant humble person, and if he takes Allah’s Oath that he will do that thing, Allah will fulfill his oath (by doing that). Shall I inform you about the people of the Fire? They comprise every cruel, violent, proud and conceited person.”
——— Narrated by Haritha Bin Wahb, in Sahih Al Bukhari, vol 8 hadith 97.
 
“Maybe I was great in the ring, but outside of boxing, I’m just a brother like other people. I want to live a good life, serve God, help everybody I can. And one more thing. I’m still gonna find out who stole my bike when I was 12 years old in Louisville and I’m gonna whup him. That was a good bike.”
——— Muhammad Ali.

Ihsan (Excellence):

Allah loves, when one of you is doing something, that he [or she] does it in the most excellent manner.——— Muhammad (p) cited in Al-Qaradawi, Yusuf, Dawr Al-Qiyam Wal-Akhlaaq Fi Al-Iqtisaad Al-Islaami. Maktabat Wahbah, 1995.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
——— Aristotle.

“When a man says I cannot, he has made a suggestion to himself. He has weakened his power of accomplishing that which otherwise would have been accomplished.”——— Muhammad Ali.

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”——— Muhammad Ali.

Integrity:

Excellence and competitiveness aren’t incompatible with honesty and integrity.
——— Jack Welch, Former CEO, GE, in his autobiography Jack, p. 282.

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
——— Thomas Jefferson.

When something weighs on your conscience, give it up.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) in Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 8.

Knowledge:

If anyone travels on a road in search of knowledge, Allah will cause him to travel on one of the roads of Paradise.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Abu Darda in Sunan Abu Dawood, hadith #1631.

The knowledge from which no benefit is derived is like a treasure out of which nothing is spent in the cause of Allah.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Abu Hurayrah, transmitted by Ahmad and Darimi in Al Tirmidhi, hadith #108.

He who issues forth in search of knowledge is busy in the cause of Allah till he returns from his quest.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Anas Ibn Malik in Al Tirmidhi, hadith #420.

The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim. [...]
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Ibn Majah and Bayhaqi in Shu’ab al-Iman; also reported by Anas Ibn Malik in Al Tirmidhi, hadith #74.

Leadership:

We need authentic leaders, people of the highest integrity, committed to building enduring organizations. We need leaders who have a deep sense of purpose and are true to their core values. We need leaders with the courage to build their companies to meet the needs of all their stakeholders, and who recognize the importance of their service to society. 
——— Bill George, Former CEO, Medtronics, Authentic Leadership, San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, CA: 2003.

All these boundaries – Africa, Asia, Malaysia, America – are set by men. But you don’t have to look at boundaries when you are looking at a man – at the character of a man. The question is: What do you stand for? Are you a follower or are you a leader?”
——— Hakeem Olajuwon.

“The worst of guardians is a cruel ruler. Beware of becoming one of them.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 846.

Meditation:

When He opens for you a way of getting to know Him, do not mind if the quantity of your actions lessen in its presence. He only opened this way for you so that He may make Himself known to you. Do you not see that His making Himself known to you is something that issues from Him to you, while actions come from you to Him? And where is what you are sending to Him in relation to what He is sending to you.
——— Al Hikam of Ibn Ata Allah.

Mercy:

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said: ““Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to people.”
——— Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 9, #473.

Moderation:

The best of all dealings is the one which is moderate.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Baihaqi.

They are the losers, those who make the religion hard and tough. They imperil themselves who enforce tough practices of Islam. They destroy themselves, those who are extremes.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Ibn Masud in Sahih Muslim.

Make things easy and convenient and don’t make them harsh and difficult. Give cheer and glad tidings and do not create hatred.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) in Riyadh us-Saleheen, Volume 1:637.

Partnering:

“Whoever recommends and helps a good cause becomes a partner therein, and whoever recommends and helps an evil cause shares in its burdens“
——— The Holy Quran, Chapter 4, Verse 85.

Patience:

“Be patient (in adversity); for, verily, God will not let the reward of the righteous be wasted.“
——— The Holy Quran, Chapter 11, Verse 115.

“[W]hoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.“
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Abu Said Al Khudri
in Sahih Bukhari, vol 2 hadith 548.

“Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.“
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Anas bin Malik in Sahih Bukhari, vol 2 hadith 372.

“If, in spite of intense supplication, there is a delay in the timing of the Gift [al-'ata], let that not be the cause for your despairing. For He has guaranteed you a response in what He chooses for you, not in what you choose for yourself, and at the time He desires, not the time you desire.“
——— The Hikam, Ibn ‘Ata’illah, Chapter 1, 6.

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.“
——— Carlos Castaneda.

Peace:

“He who makes peace between people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported in Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 857.
“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”
——— Einstein.
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
——— Gandhi.
“I’m amazed, that how salam (peace) is always the first word to start a meeting. but in prayer it is the end word. Maybe it means the end of prayer is the start of a meeting…”
——— Ali Shahri’ati.

Relaxation:

“(Islam) is spacious (and has room for relaxation), and I have been sent with an easy and straightforward religion.”
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported in Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 2, Number 153.

Serving Others:

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Do you know who will go first on the Day of Resurrection to the shade of God…Those who when given what is right accept it, when asked for something give freely and who judge in favor of others as they do for themselves.”——— Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1042.

The Prophet Muhammad (s) said, “Do not wish to be like anyone, except in two cases: (1) A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously. (2) A man whom Allah has given wisdom (knowledge of the Qur’an and the Hadith) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others.”——— Narrated by Abdullah in Bukhari, vol: 9, hadith 255.

“Think as little as possible about yourself and as much as possible about other people.”——— Eleanor Roosevelt.

“Service to others is the rent you pay here for your room on earth.”——— Muhammad Ali.

“We believe that poverty does not belong in a civilized human society. It belongs in museums [...] A poverty-free world might not be perfect, but it would be the best approximation of the ideal.”——— Muhammad Yunus, 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Winner.

“Anyone who has property that exceed his needs, let him support someone whose property does not (meet his or her needs), and anyone whose food exceeds his needs, let him share it with someone who does not have food.“——— Prophet Muhammad (s) in Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 93C.

Silence:

Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say something good or keep quiet.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Abu Huraira–mutafakkun ghalai.

Strength:

A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the one who contains himself when he is angry.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as quoted in Islam on Line website.

Success:

The best place to succeed is where you are with what you’ve got.
——— Charles Schwab.

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
——— Einstein.

A woman should have the ability to choose her own destiny.
——— —Ranya Al-Baz, Domestic Violence Face of Saudi Arabia.

Trusting in Allah:

One of the signs of relying on one’s own deeds is the loss of hope when a downfall occurs.
——— Al The Hikam of Ibn Ibn ‘Ata’illah, chapter 1,1.

Among the signs of success at the end is the turning to Allah at the beginning.
——— Al The Hikam of Ibn Ibn ‘Ata’illah, chapter 2, 26.

The best that you can seek from Him is that which He seeks from you.
——— Al The Hikam of Ibn Ibn ‘Ata’illah, chapter 9, 75.

Truth:

A true action leads to the path of virtue and good deeds, and virtue paves the way of a person to Paradise, and the said person continues to speak the truth till in the sight of Allah he is named Siddiq or Truthful. Lying leads to vice, and vice leads to indecent acts and if a person goes on lying till in the sight of Allah he is named a liar.
——— The Prophet (s) as reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud (r) in Bukhari and Muslim.

I’m for truth no matter who tells it. I’m for justice no matter who it is for or against. I’m a human being first and foremost, and as such I am for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole. 
——— Malcolm X.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said.
——— Mark Twain.

Wealth and Success:

Wealth is not due to plenty of money, but wealth is the wealth of the self.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as agreed upon–mutafakkun ghalai.

The most valuable things in life) are a tongue which mentions God, a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps a man with his faith.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported in Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 721.

Forsake wordly pleasures, Allah will like you, and forsake what others have, mankind will like you.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as reported by Ibn Majah.

I have a wife who loves me in spite of all my faults. I have four dogs. Two love only me. One loves everybody. One loves no one, but is still very loyal…. I enjoy my business. I love my farm and my home. I have a few close friends, and money has never been my God.
——— Edward D. “Ted” Jones, former CEO of the global investment firm Edward Jones.

Wisdom:

Wisdom is a long-cherished wish to the believer. He takes it from wherever he listens to it; and he does not mind from where it came out.
——— Prophet Muhammad (s) as as narrated by Ibn Hibban.

Wallahu A'lam

Credit to/Source: The Islamic Workplace

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Im not in my best today.. But tomorrow will be better insyAllah. La tahzan 

Love as always,

-afrah hana

The 3 L

Assalammualaikum readers,

I feel hopeless today that i found myself searching tru the net and i found this.. Sje share.

Mind it. Aku cme copy paste je neh. Credit to the own writer~

---

Margaret's twin girls were halfway through high school when she started thinking about returning to school herself.

"I've always wanted to finish my degree," she told me. "Maybe get a master's, even. I'd like to teach."

"Cool!" I said. Margaret had been complaining of boredom, and I knew she'd thrive in an academic environment.

"But," she told me, her voice tightening, "there are problems. Jeff and the girls are used to me being home, cleaning, cooking...."

"Have you talked to them about it?"

"No, because there's more," said Margaret. "We only have two cars. Jeff drives one, and sometimes the girls need the other one in the evenings."

"Well, you can take classes when they're in school."

"But sometimes they drive to school. Then I don't have a car until afternoon."

"Then take the bus. Or have the kids take the bus. Or have Jeff drop them off. Or sign up for distance learning."

I was getting into quite a lather of life-coachy problem solving, but Margaret would have none of it. Every time I lobbed a suggestion, she'd smack it back at me like a tennis pro. After a 10- or 15-minute rally, I finally realized that the real issue wasn't Margaret's continuing education. It was something I call "help resistance."

There may be infinite reasons Margaret and others like her ask for help and then reject it; some people may be deeply ambivalent, others biologically anxious, or a few unconsciously combative. Whatever their motivation, people who resist help can frustrate you half to death, batting back every solution they request with the surreal persistence of Venus and Serena combined. The next time you encounter someone who resists help, I recommend stopping the fruitless verbal rally and addressing the real problem directly.

One of my personal mottoes is "Love it, leave it, or lead it." When faced with a problem, I allow myself these three options—and only these three. "Love it" means peacefully accept whatever's happening. If that's not possible, I may be able to "leave it," simply walk away from the whole dilemma. The third option, "lead it," requires that I recognize and use whatever power I have (even if I feel helpless). If I can't devise a solution on my own, I must "lead" my helpers by asking clear, purposeful questions and taking good advice when I get it. I've found that the "three Ls" are invaluable when you find yourself trading volleys with someone who doesn't want to change.


Till then,
Luv, xoxo ;)

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